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    May, 2009

    Devil Who Wears Prada

     
    Anna Wintour, editor of Vogue, inspiration for the novel and movie The Devil Wears Prada appearred on tonight's 60 minutes. Video recap is here:

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/05/14/60minutes/main5013905.shtml
    August, 2008

    像孩子一般快乐

     
    这篇blog断断续续,从星哥离开第二天就想写完。迟迟未完成,大概潜意识里总想拒绝接受残酷的事实。三个星期过去了,还是无法相信,但其实已是迟到的挽歌。
     
    ***************
    周一早晨,本来以为是再平凡不过的星期一,10点多接到月的电话,说是星哥受伤,在医院里昏迷了一个晚上了,我当时还是孩子气地相信他一定会醒来,两个小时后月再来电话,我按下接听之前还祈祷要是好消息,其实我怎么也没有想到第二个电话就是噩耗!我坐在电脑前,脑海一片空白。
     
    五年前,大概这个时候,我们五人结伴而行来到这个陌生地,莽莽撞撞,却也踌躇满志。我们一起迷惘,一起成长,一起憧憬未来,梦想就要成真的这一刻,我们却失去了其中那位最特别的伙伴。
     
    之所以说他特别,是因为他的纯净和乐观,和我们是那么不一样。那种简单真实的快乐,毫无杂质的内心。
     
    在美国的朋友中,我认识星哥算是比较早的。因为同在中大,我们很早就知道对方也要来雪城,加了QQ, 称彼此为“飞友”。第一次见面,我和星哥约好一起练签证面试,足足一个小时,星哥花了90%的时间说他的数学研究(另10%说SU的篮球),我听得云里雾里,不得不说:“我知道你很喜欢数学,可是这样是签不过D,数学家。”。星哥思绪“神游”了好一会儿,然后傻呵呵地说,可是我去美国,就是去学数学。说着说着一脸陶醉,那是一种好单纯的快乐。
     
    几天后,星哥说他被拒签了,我很认真地提醒他千万不要只和签证官讲数学。又过了两个星期,星哥乐呵呵地说他签过了,还说是在最恨毒的“小胡子”手下签过的,更过瘾的是,星哥自豪地告诉我,他们聊了好一会儿数学,因为“小胡子”以前是学数学的。我哭笑不得,不过我知道星哥有一天会是造诣很高的数学家。
     
    来美国后,因为忙各自的学习,大家见面其实也不多,特别是星哥,是我们五人中唯一拿了Teaching Assistance奖学金过来的, 这个TA比我们更忙,见得就更少了。 多数时候见面是因为聚餐,星哥脸上 永远挂着大大的微笑。像孩子一般快乐。每次他总是给我们带比较“高级”的菜,我们笑称为“TA的虾”,还说他太有钱了。 他不管大家怎么开他的玩笑, 总是乐呵呵的。事实上星哥生活比我们拮据多了,大半的奖学金还要拿来供妹妹上大学。我问他觉不觉得压力太大太辛苦, 他说,我觉得挺好的, 我是哥哥。 真是好青年。 他还说平时看篮球赛可开心了。大概对心地纯净的他来说,快乐好简单。

    还记得一次聚餐后大家一起玩杀人, 他一发现自己要当“杀手”,紧张得满脸通红, “警察”立刻就问是不是他, 他又紧张得说不出话来,把满屋子人都逗乐了---我们都好喜欢他那个样子, 毫无掩饰的淳朴和善良,就连游戏里扮个“杀手”都紧张得要死。
     
    最后一次见他是在去年婚礼,也是我们五人最近的一次聚会,真的好开心。一定要说说他送给我们的礼物,就像他那样与众不同---所有朋友都送了typical的婚礼礼物,还贴心地附带着精美的卡片。星哥特立独行,递给我一个大大的SU Book Store胶袋, 傻傻笑着对我和yuhua说,这个是给你们未来儿子的玩具,呵呵!一看,袋子里有个大大的SU抱枕,一个很可爱的orange man小人,还有一张有点皱的白纸写着祝福的话。婚礼过后,yuhua整理礼物,拿着那张皱巴巴的白纸,说:“星哥就是星哥,还是那么可爱那么真, 和我们四年前过来时一模一样。”大家一起吃饭的时候,我问起他当时的女友,现在的妻子, 他一脸甜蜜,说他们也好事将近了。 哎,想起就难过。后来电话联络,说起他的礼物, 他说以后要看到我和yuhua的孩子玩那个orange man,我们也笑称他为“星叔叔”,却怎么也没有想到。。。
     
    是上天太残忍,人生太无常,还是我们太脆弱?我想了很久,还是觉得,上天太残忍。
     
    我不够智慧,不懂所谓无常和坚强,我只知道,我失去了一位特别珍贵的朋友。
    March, 2008

    Capitalists. Social Elite. Modern Do-Gooders.

        
    "To win the respect of intelligent people
    and the affection of children;
    To earn the appreciation of honest critics
    and to endure the betrayal of false friends;
    To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;
    To leave the world a better because you have lived.
    This is to have succeeded."

    Capitalists. Social Elite. Modern Do-Gooders.
    --Thoughts from Bill Gates Trivia

    Last Friday. NY Times. An interesting story about Bill Gates: "He came to dinner with journalists in Washington last week. He looked utterly bored as the conversation drifted to presidential campaign gossip. But when asked about which programs produce higher reading scores, the guy lit up and became a fountain of facts and findings."

    “The older do-gooders had a certain policy model: government identifies a problem. Really smart people design a program. A cabinet department in a big building administers it. But the new do-gooders have absorbed the disappointments of the past decades. They have a much more decentralized worldview. They don’t believe government on its own can be innovative. A thousand different private groups have to try new things. ” Bill Gates neatly fits into this "new do-gooders" world.

    Nothing changed my view of success more than my US experience did. Five years ago, success in my mind, like it in the mind of lots of other people in my home country, is wealth, up-scale lifestyle and enriched mind. After all these years of growing, especially these two years of meeting exceptional people and witnessing great stories, I have dramatic changes happening in my mind.

    Today, I see some of the noblest people, around me or in public, have strived to create a large profit to do good. They do work like capitalists. They talk like capitalists. They dress like capitalists. But they don't exactly think like capitalists because they don't aim to create profit ultimately. People find them in the neediest places on earth. They are with the hungry, the homeless and the poor.

    I used to think the social services are mostly done by saints or socialists, and the last people I could think of are business man. Apparently, fashions in success change, just like fashions in anything else. These capitalists/modern do-gooders call themselves social entrepreneurs. Enterprise is essential, for money is still much needed. In most places, money still rules. It empowers us with the ability to change the world, just like what Jane Austen's father told her, "Nothing destroys spirit like poverty."

    January, 2008

    Yo-Yo Ma

     
    I was driving and listening and he happened to be on the air.
    I never knew he has such a soft voice.
    The language flows so smoothly and beautifully off his tongue.
    It's a gentle, melodic and touching voice...and I couldn't help digging this out!
     
     
    December, 2007

    亲爱的姐姐妹妹


    我大半的girlfriends,这两年都婚了。这个月,就有两个。还有好几个,我知道也快了。

    刚刚在她们的blog上看到新婚的笑脸,我陡然被打动。

    这么多亲爱的姐姐妹妹,一起恋爱,一起成长。不同的轨迹,终归的幸福却是相似的。大概是因为,我们对爱情,都有一种小小的坚持的力量吧 --前行的勇气,和忘却的决心。我想那就是对于生活最本真的热爱吧。这热爱来的简单直率,却有绵延的力量。

    不同的爱情故事,结局的幸福会是相似的。我大概是最偏执于爱情理想的。大概是因为,我是受伤最少最轻的一个。她们中的有一些,感情轰轰烈烈,每一次失恋都是世界尽头。不懂爱情的我总是不知道怎样去安慰她们,总是没有办法真正去劝阻她们。但我一直坚信她们会有好未来,我一直关注着她们。的确,渐渐地都好了。

    我觉得和远方的她们,心心相印。我想,更多的快乐总是在前头的吧;我想,更好的经历也会是在等待的吧。我们前程锦绣,我们都会有个好结局。我知道的。


    我要把这篇小文,送给Lily, Crystal, Carmen, Amy, Page, Lina, Jinhua, Laura, Shuyi, Han, 大Mag, 小Meg, Ningqi, Rongrong, 新婚的Connie 和 Monnie, 和所有亲爱的姐姐妹妹。

    November, 2007

    收藏及分享

    《十年一觉电影梦》简体中文版序(节选)
    李安作于2007年7月28日

    这本书记述了我电影生涯前十年的第一个大高潮,感觉上,《卧虎藏龙》真是一个阶段的总结,一切并非故意,而是自然发展的结果,如今看来,还真是"十年一觉电影梦"!

    打从入行起,每做一部片子,纵使翻江倒海,我也就拍了;之后去宣传,都得说说我当初拍片的冲动。其实就算片子拍完,我仍有许多地方不明所以,我比较老实,人家一问,我会想要讲清楚,每逢不通之处、又得自圆其说时,总觉得自己好像是闯了祸,拍完片后又自陷重围。由于张靓蓓的邀约,出这本书,等于帮我将那些隐藏在旮旮角角的困惑再次翻出,去理清楚、连起来。我重回往日时光,一趟反省下来,好像真是到了一个阶段。

    之前拍片我闷着头往前冲,到了《卧虎藏龙》,我启动各方资源,回笼去做创新,又往前闯出一个更大的世界。人也跟着迈入中年,心情开始转变,我也不自觉地透过拍片往自我解剖的路上走。

    我常自问,为什么从第五部片子《冰风暴》开始,我每部片子的结局都带有"死亡"的因素,一开张我拍了四部喜剧,《理性与感性》拍完,我一直回不去喜剧,想也找不着题材,可能因为我的显性已经表现够了。《冰风暴》起,我开始有兴趣摸索隐性部分,碰触潜意识里一些无法掌控的领域,如此才能摸到新鲜的东西,才有那种处子感。寻求刺激,让我持续处于亢奋状态,也折磨着我的身心;但这股亢奋,又支撑我度过身体的不适。长期下来,精神、肉体几乎难以承受,老感觉是在"解构"自己。久而久之,在我的电影里,结尾都以悲剧收场、以死亡终结,似乎要追求到某种美感才能结束,《色,戒》也是一样,走向死亡,成了我电影中主角的宿命,包括活着的人(易先生、俞秀莲、罗小虎等)也要去体会逝者(王佳芝、李慕白、玉娇龙等)的滋味。我是不是在追求一种绝对值,也在满足一种求死欲望?对我来说,创作欲好像不是求生,而是求死,是自我解构的一个演化过程,当你冒险追求绝对值时,经常处于临界点上,如履薄冰,兴奋感与危机感共生,求生与求死并存。

    我是一个心智与身体都较晚熟的人,个性比较温和、压抑,因为晚熟,所以我很多的童心玩性、青少年的叛逆、成年对浪漫的追求,以及我的提早老化,其实是一起来的。就在自觉比较成熟时,我年轻时该发生又不发生的事,突然在我中年危机、身体开始往下掉的时候,就这样都冲撞上来。打从《卧虎藏龙》起直到现在,我都在经历这些。拍《卧虎藏龙》时,我正和刚冒起的中年危机感搏斗,还不承认,还在尽使少年的那股傻劲蛮力;及至《绿巨人浩克》(Hulk),我更是一头栽入,好像要把剩下的半条命也拼掉似的。《卧虎藏龙》规模甚大,又有很多我不解之处,且引发出许多文化现象,依我原来的个性,应会稍事收敛,但我反而更拼命;拍《绿巨人浩克》时,我更直接面对好莱坞的商业与制作机制、挑战电脑动画、碰触美学领域,进而摸索我心底的不安、父子间的紧张,触摸死亡与创作的关系。我觉得体内好像有个什么东西硬要蹦开,我也不自觉地以暴力的方式去表达出来!

    拍完《绿巨人浩克》,我才真的认命,人到中年,岁月不饶人,以前身体根本无须考虑,如今还要去与它共存。《绿巨人浩克》之后,我身心俱疲,很想就此收手;可是不拍电影,整个人又很沮丧。就在父亲首次鼓励我继续拍片时,我决定拍《断背山》,其实动机也很单纯,我就是想用它来休养生息。拍摄时,我尽量不多想、不动气,人虽没什么力气,但还是很投入,每天按部就班,把该拍的拍完,拍法感觉和拍《推手》时差不多。拍摄当中,我曾因为疲累想停拍,面对演员偶而也会想:"干吗要这么挤榨他?"这是前所未有的念头。拍完《断背山》,整个人也养了过来,五年来困扰我的病痛,也逐渐控制下来。有人说,《断背山》有种自然天成的味道。我想,如果不是《卧虎藏龙》及《绿巨人浩克》耗尽一切,《断背山》也不会拍得这么松活。我別无他意,沒想到它会引发出这般回响,至今依然余波荡漾;更沒想到是它带着我跨越过一个阶段。到了《色,戒》,我的精神又来了,挣扎奋斗的着力点也不同了。

    这些年来,我也陆续感受到《十年一觉电影梦》的回响。记得2002年这本书繁体版出版前,张靓蓓约我给书写序,当时我比较担心解析自己是否会引起反感。出书以来,一开始虽不很热络,但慢慢有许多反应回来,感觉很善意、很温馨。这本书道出了很多我们这一代成长的一个心声,书中电影部分虽着墨不少,但回响最多的则是社会意义,是对我们这个年代的共鸣!

    因为这本书,我结了很多善缘,当初答应张靓蓓,我是想从我文化根源的角度发声,所以书中不论我受访说话或她写作询问时所用的语词、口气等各方面,均立足台湾,就因为我们都是在这个文化教养下成长的一代;也因为这个文化到了我们这一代以后,已然渐行渐远,现今若不留点鸿爪,日后想要按图索骥,怕也难寻!就算为文化传承尽点心意吧,这本书或可作为中原文化在台湾发展的一个线索。

    现在年龄渐长,我总有个感觉,这几年来,不论拍片、讲话或写文章,越来越说不出个道理来,我可以拉里拉杂地接受访问,但要我理出个所以然来,一方面力不从心,一方面也不愿意。其实到《卧虎藏龙》那个阶段,我也是东讲西讲,支离破碎,许多东西还想不通,也沒有深思,如今回想,其实很多东西是张靓蓓帮我理出头绪、言之成理的。就因为写这本书,她常会追问,她想不通,也不愿意笔下糊涂带过,就问我,逼着我要去想,事实上那段时间里我想通了很多东西。其实这本书有个特点,它不神祕,我们从头道来,蛮老实的,因而结了很多善缘,这和书的内容与我们两个的态度有些关系。我们有这样一本书出来,对我是一番自省,真的很值得,我要谢谢她!

     书里蛮完整地表达了我至《卧虎藏龙》阶段的整体经验,其中有传统的东西,也有地域性的东西。如今在大陆首度出版,正好是我从《卧虎藏龙》起绕了一圈,又回大陆;再拍《色,戒》时,情況已经不太一样了。我来大陆再拍华语片,书也在这时候出版,我想,是有一些意义的!
    October, 2007

    Last Lecture

    " Randy Pausch (born October 23, 1960) is a Professor of Computer Science, Human-Computer Interaction, and Design at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU). Pausch has been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and was told in August 2007 to expect a remaining three to six months of good health.Pausch's "Last Lecture" Pausch delivered his "Last Public Lecture", entitled "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams", at CMU on September 18, 2007." - From Wikipedia
     
    March, 2007

    TIME: 60 Years of Asian Heroes

    For six decades, TIME has chronicled the triumphs and travails of Asia. This special issue pays tribute to the remarkable men and women who have shaped Asian times and our destiny. "From Gandhi to Deng Xiaoping, TIME takes a look at the leaders who guided Asia out of the ruin of war and the bonds of colonialism."  In search of new heroes of our time, TIME comments that Asia now needs men and women with moral, rather than political, authority .
     
     
     
     
    January, 2007

    The Real Norah Jones

    From NY Times

    If you love Noral Jones as I do, you will be interested in this...

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5070&en=7c808a42b50f67a0&ex=1169528400

    “I am very much not like my records in person,” Norah Jones said recently. People “expect me to be very girly, very romantic, very melancholy, and I’m not any of those things.”“I have a real big fear of being overexposed,” she said. “On the first record I was everywhere, and it was like the worst time in my life.”

    Her third solo album, “Not Too Late,” is due for release Jan. 30, and like her first two it offers the intimate sound of a handful of musicians in a small room, the sound of places like this one.

    “Not Too Late” is also the first full album of her own songs, and it is darker, thornier and sometimes funnier than the albums that made her a star.

    November, 2006

    Women Who Inspire Me

    Nerissa M. - Nerissa is a 60-year-old lady I have known for almost one year from my Yoga class. As a two-time breast cancer survivor, screenplay writer, artist and single parent, she is influential to my life. When I first saw her in the neighborhood, she was radiating grace, confidence and poise, and I would never be able to guess her age and experience. I feel lucky to have known her more and have been inpired by her experience and attitude. She is extraordinarily positive and has never betrayed her essence, even when faced with some of life's most challenging curveballs. Her personal acheivement includes adopting her son as a single Mom and getting him through college. There are always beautiful flowers in her apartment sent from New York City where her son is working. Her dedication and love touch my heart as much as her grace and confidence inspire me.

    Carolyn Kepcher - Carolyn inspires me by her cool demeanore and her no-hold-barred assessments of candidates in The Apprentice. Being in a fairly high place in both an organization and an idustry largely dominatd by men, she teaches working women never to use sexual appeals to win challenges. "Winning is not everything. How you win counts just as much." Her personal values, in one sentence: "Whatever you do, always remain a lady." Yes, she is an elegant and beautiful lady, Donald Trump's effective manager and trusted adviser. She is also a happily married woman and loving mother with two children. As she described, "to the public I may be known just as 'Carolyn, but my true happiness comes from being 'Mrs. Kepcher'."

    Angelina Jolie - Angelina has been another inspiratino for me. She is using her celebrity status to raise awareness for the plight of the helpless, the poor and the powerless. She tirelessly devotes her energy to making a difference and sets foot on the continents she champions. She didn't ask to become an icon, but her strength and compassion have made her distinguished from other movie stars.

    Mama - My mother is my first role model who gives me inspiration, guidance and support through my past to my future. I call her "Mama". We have been blessed with a close relationship, even though I spent most of these years away from home. Mama is a busy working woman who manages a high school, and she also manages her personal life and family very well. She has warm smile with a young heart and the most loving spirit. The atmosphere Mama created in home has shaped my memories of childhood. "Home is where Mama is." This most giving and amazing woman has a huge impact on me, and her unconditional love is the ultimate inspiration for me to live my life of great meaning. Happy birthday, Mama! I will write you these in Chinese. I miss you, and I will be home for holidays. 

    June, 2006

    Difference

    He has vision. He saw the furture of computer, turned his early fascination into truth and revolutionized the technology.
     
    He has ambition. As an entrepreneur, he has come to be known for his competitive business tactics and aggressive confrontation toward a vast army of critics and enemies.
     
    He has fortune - and, he's a self-made billionaire. Forbes magazine listed him as the world's richest person for the last twelve years.
     
    Years later, he will be remembered for his vision, his ambition, his fortune and ultimately, his good heart.   He and his wife are endowing one of the world's biggest charitable foundations,  which had estimated funds of about $29bn in 2005.  After all, it's not usual that you meet a billionare in your age who has given 1/3 of his money to charity.
     
    The world should feel lucky that it's the man with not only money and good heart, but also prescience, intelligence and commitment who is doing this. Not many super rich men make a difference.  But he did.
     
    Letter from Bill and Melinda Gates:

    Change of Priorities

    Breaking News at Lunch Break
     
    Bill Gates says he will end his day-to-day role as head of software giant Microsoft by 2008, to focus on his charity.
     
     
    Bill Gates in 1990Bill Gates
    March, 2006

    加一个我喜欢的

    很少听说有人称赞章子怡, 但我是喜欢她的。因为我喜欢《卧虎藏龙》里的玉娇龙。宝相庄严,有稚气,却也野性。青春和刚烈逼面而来,似大雨落幽燕,飞鹰缠巨蟒。那个章子怡,率性,叛逆,亮烈,宁为玉碎,不为瓦全。
     
    历史只记得英雄和罪人。 表演大师说,只有最好的表演和最烂的表演才是永恒,因为后人会反复评说,乐此不疲。章子怡的幸运在于,无论你喜欢她或者厌恶她,你都无法回避这个名字。人们不喜欢她,媒体却越来越关注她。
     
    她19岁出道,是在《我的父亲母亲》。在那部怀旧的中国电影里,有导演深深沉迷的乡村,以及一代人无法忘怀的情结。爱情,非关革命和社稷,只有奉献和纯真。章子怡飞跑过田野,成为跳跃的焦点。浑然天成,天真如璞玉, 一种消费时代所不能容下的清纯和痴情。作为第一部电影, 了不起,却也很幸运。
     
    章子怡不一定是个有表演天赋的演员,但她自知并刻苦--这也是一种聪明。凭着这份聪明,她会是一位出色的演员。
     
    “拍电影有时是非常辛苦的。比如吊钢丝,什么感觉?两腿发麻,两眼发鼓,觉得眼珠子就要往下掉了,脑子往外涨。有时一吊就是五十分钟。” 章子怡说得轻描淡写。我们看得轻描淡写。在《卧虎藏龙》里,只看见竹林上方的打斗,轻灵风雅,点到为止。那是一个中年男子,心如止水时,遇见了一个热烈鲜活的年轻女人。
     
    章子怡是少数的活跃在国际影坛的中国明星,是日本评出的“亚洲第一美少女”,是《时尚》眼中“全球最美丽的五十个女人”之一。因为此,她想必经历过无耻的阿谀和无耻的漫骂,因为她绝非中国最美丽的女人。
     
    她大概只是一个年轻光鲜的明星,为成功而自豪,为诋毁而低落,因疲惫而抱怨,因希望而振作。像每一个前程远大的年轻女人一样,满怀野心目光坚强,像每一个初入社会的孩子一样,发觉成人的世界和自己想象得不一样。然后,她长大,越发平静, 她说:“ 我学会不辩解,不埋怨。对爱我的人们来说,我不需要解释。对恨我的人来说,解释没有用。无论何时,有人记得我,已经是对我的肯定,证明我的存在足够强烈。对我来说,嫉妒是另一种方式表达对我的欣赏和崇拜。” 假以时日,她会是真正的美丽女人。

     
    February, 2006

    Dare to Dream

     

    Quote

    Dare to Dream

    By Jenni

    Together Everlastingly

     

    I was thinking that someone had some big shoes to fill, but when I think more about it- it is ALL of us that need to fill their shoes and carry on their legacy.  They had a dream- and it has become a part of all of us.  It is our responsibility now to carry on in their vision. Keep the dream alive.

     

    December, 2005

    Apple Hero

    This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

    Thanks Crystal.


     

     

    I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

    The first story is about connecting the dots.

    I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

    It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

    And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

    It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

    Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

    None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

    Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

    My second story is about love and loss.

    I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

    I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

    I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

    During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

    I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

    My third story is about death.

    When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

    Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

    About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

    I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

    This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

    No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

    Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

    Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

    Thank you all very much.

     

    November, 2005

    Lincoln's Depression

    Book cover
     
     
    In his new book, Lincoln's Melancholy, Joshua Wolf Shenk
    convincingly argues that Abraham Lincoln struggled with
    major depression.
    November, 2005

    Royal Couple's U.S. Visit

    Prince Charles's last state visit to the US, in 1985, was a glitzy affair epitomised by Diana dancing with John Travolta. But as the prince prepares to return with his new wife, it's uncertain how the couple will be received.
     
    As Letitia Baldridge commented, " There won't be the same spirit as when Diana was here, but that doesn't mean that Camilla is going to be a flop."
     
    October, 2005

    Icons of the Century

    1. The Beatles
    2. Louis Armstrong
    3. Lucille Ball
    4. Humphrey Bogart
    5. Marlon Brando
    6. Charlie Chaplin
    7. James Dean
    8. Marilyn Monroe
    9. Mickey Mouse
    10. Elvis Presley
    Source: Variety magazine

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4344910.stm

     

    Game Theory

    I just found 博弈论 in English is called Game Theory. Never did I relate "Game" to "Theory". Game is for players while theory is for serious scientists.Once you know what Game Theory is, you might realize it is a such perfect name as I do.
     
    Game theorists Thomas Schelling and Robert Aumann have won the 2005 Nobel prize in economics.They developed Game theory to help human beings understand conflict situations and opportunities. Schelling has specialised in explaining strategies of international conflict while Aumann has developed the theoretical underpinnings of bargaining, co-operation and conflict.
     
    Interestingly, it was a mathematician who frirst created Game theory as a way to understand decision-making in the real world where several parties were bargaining, with unequal resources and information. Today these ideas originating from mathematics have even been applied to conflict resolution in the Middle East.
     
    So we call them distinguished pioneers.