请大家为小可悦祝福，看到她插满管子，真是好心疼。。。

 

这是她4天时候的样子：

 

With Mom being here, I finally feel ready. Deep down I'm still that little girl who needs Mom's reassurance from time to time. There is a loving woman I know I can always turn to. In Mom's love I grow every day.

 

2009 Letter

 

 

I finished my 10th speech with the Toastmasters. For this last one, I was asked to speak in front of a room of high-school teen girls, conjuct with the Campaign for Real Beauty by Dove. I was given this a national report on the self-esteem and asked to talk about body image:

 

It'll difficult audience - just think about how little attention I would have paid to speeches like this if I were a teen. I thought about it again and decided to get involved. Surprisingly they were nice to me. I thank them for the positive feedback - I feel flattered. I want to put my script down here, and I want to share it with Claire some day.

 

You Are Beautiful

“A journey to self-acceptance is never-ending, but definitely worth the trip.”

When I was a teenager, at about your age, look, there were lots of parts of my body I didn’t like: my nose, my acne, my legs, my upper arms, etc and etc. You name it, and I hated it.

I thought a certain lip gloss, a pretty pair of shoes, or weight loss would make me feel beautiful, or lift my spirit. But, in the end, it still rises and falls with compliment or criticism.

At lunch so many girls talked about how they dropped a size. It’s not only at lunch. It’s everywhere, on TV, radio, internet, magazine, people spent so much time talking, and thinking about weight loss, body and clothes. So I learnt from them and only ate so little. I spent a lot of time looking to others to build up who I am. But, in the end, I found it was actually up to me to decide my level of satisfaction and worth.

As I grew up, life stays interesting…. I graduated from high school and went to college. I traveled overseas and met so many great people who gave me inspiration. I work hard and make my colleagues and my company proud of me. I made true friends who accept me and like me as a real person. My focus switched from how I look to what I do, because what I do, not how I look, really says who I am.

I got married, and now I’m expecting my first child. I gained a lot of weight, but personally, I felt even more confident in my body and myself. Everywhere I go, people would look at my pregnant body and instantly smile. I don’t know if I remind them of something else or if the mere image has such a positive effect on people. Either way, somehow I felt that it made their day a little bit brighter, and I felt beautiful. See? I do not need to look like a runway model to be beautiful. My curves that support life and allow me to give birth are beautiful. My strength to push through discomfort for the sake of another life is beautiful. Women are capable of bringing new life into this world, and our bodies, of all shapes and sizes, make that miracle happen.

What you do reveals who you are. What’s the best way to really change the self-esteem? Do something that uplifts your spirit. It’s not that we do each of the things perfectly; it’s that we did them at all that matters. Live your life out loud. Live it truly and put yourself out there. Not everyone will like you. Nor should they. But if you like yourself and design for yourself a life worth living then that’s what really matters.

I want to tell you another story, the story about my junior high school best girlfriend. We grew up together complaining about our body flaws. She used to be ashamed of her big thighs. As she grew, she learnt to focus on something she was good at: she became a terrific basketball player and a dancer. Those flabby thighs she once complained became strong and toned. They carried her through dancing and playing sports, and even more, they carried her though life and made her a confident and beautiful woman.

As I speak, you might be thinking, “I’m not sure if anything you said could change my mind.” Friends, not me, were the most influential people in your life, at least at this moment. Their opinions outweighed mine. Only friends, not me, know what you are feeling, right? I know what you are talking about. Because I was just like you. When Mom or big sisters taught me about self-confidence, most of the time I went back to girlfriends. Because they were the ones sharing body flaws with me. They knew my pain and complained as much as I did.

It took me a while to see the wrong with that. What good did it do any of us to sit and bash ourselves? It only helped us feel worse. We hated ourselves more and more, and we helped each other do it. Then it hit me: the way to feel good about ourselves had to be the opposite!

Next time when girls at lunch eat lettuce and talk about how they dropped a size, change the conservation. Remind yourself not to get caught up in that and talk about more positive topics. I wish I could go back in time to do this myself. You don’t know this now, but you will be a positive influence on others in your class. Don’t obsess over your weight or the size label on your jeans. Stay positive and let the little things go.

Don’t stress about the little things, like losing your 1^st boyfriend or friends who say mean things to  you. There will be more boyfriends and better friends.

And, please, please stop comparing yourself to others. Stop looking at your friend’s bodies and wishing you looked like them. You are a beautiful girl with a beautiful body. You might think your bodies are not thin enough, your arms or thighs are too big, but they are strong. Start embracing your body now. It’s healthy and strong, and you are beautiful.

We've been looking for a fun event for a summer girls night out, and this one looks perfect.

 

 

A gift for the gods. A symbol of wealth and luxury. An economic livelihood. Bonbons. Hot fudge. Candy bars. For thousands of years humans have been fascinated with the delicious phenomenon that we call chocolate. Journey through history to get the complete story behind the tasty treat that we crave in "Chocolate," an exciting new exhibition opening on May 9, 2009.

 

You'll begin in the rainforest with the unique cacao tree whose seeds started it all. Visit the ancient Maya civilization of Central America and discover what chocolate meant nearly 1,500 years ago. Then travel forward in time and northward to the Aztec civilization of 16th-century Mexico, where cacao seeds were so valuable they were used as money. Discover chocolate's introduction into the upper classes of European society and its transformation into a mass-produced world commodity.

Chocolate will engage your senses and reveal facets of this sumptuous sweet that you've never thought about before. You'll explore the plant, the products and the culture of chocolate through the lenses of science, history and popular culture."

http://naturalsciences.org/exhibits/special-exhibits

http://www.fieldmuseum.org/chocolate/

 

Anna Wintour, editor of Vogue, inspiration for the novel and movie The Devil Wears Prada appearred on tonight's 60 minutes. Video recap is here:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/05/14/60minutes/main5013905.shtml

 

下午去参加Ely小朋友的一岁生日，小寿星的爸爸Moo对我说，a year ago, Erin was just like you, having a big belly. Can't believe it's already been one year! 明年这个时候也会很快来到，我把手放在肚子上回答说，Claire's 1st birthday will come soon before I know it.

 

两个礼拜之前，我们和当年的伴郎伴娘第n次Duke Garden相聚，花相似，人不同， 当年的新郎，新娘，伴郎都要为人父为人母了，伴娘也披上了美丽的嫁衣。即使幸福是那么的相似，每次观礼还是格外感动。

 

晚上重温了少女时代的最爱《穿越时空的少女》，才发觉English title叫The Girl Who Leapt Through Time。 一个少女获得了“不断穿越时空”的超能力，在时光的截点之间穿梭。每个人的生命中都有一些截点。我每天在往前走，一直走。一部分的我被时光拦截下来，她和我挥手告别，永远的留在那里。怀孕40周对我来说就是从生命的一个截点走到另一个截点，走进孕晚期，我离另一个截点越来越近。想着想着，我突然抬起头对老公说，天哪亲爱的，还有两个月我就真的要当妈妈了！

 

到baby Claire对我笑的那个瞬间，不知道我会不会，好像看见小时候的自己，对着我轻轻的微笑。

 

如果能穿越时空，你想去哪里？我大概不会选遥远的太空，或者繁华的朝代。我想回到一些时光的截点，去拥抱熟悉又陌生的自己。

 

Girlfriend Page made one and only one wish on her birthday: health. Oprah Winfrey said, "making the decision to look after yourself is the ultimate in health care."  I am proud of Page because she realized it and took an important step : )

 

First health, the foudation, then comes eveything else: happiness and beauty at any age from inside out. Early last year I read this great book from cover to cover and have been revisiting it from time to time: "The Beauty Prescription" written by a dermatologist and a psychiatrist.  The most empowering message I got out is beautiful women are healthy, self-assured, and multidimensional woman. I love this book and still in love with it, and want to recommend it all girlfriends.

 

Product Description

Best friends since they met at medical school twenty-five years ago, Dr. Debra, a Beverly Hills dermatologist, and Dr. Eva, a South Beach psychiatrist, join their expertise to take a unique look at beauty of the body and mind and have created this inspirational guide to getting gorgeous, inside and out. Their empowering message that all women are beautiful will help you discover how to bring out your maximum potential as you blossom into a more charismatic, self-assured, and multidimensional woman. That change starts with you, starting now. .

• Care for your health, the foundation of beauty.
• Learn the art of self care in today's busy world.
• Create and surround yourself with beauty wherever you go.
• Manage stress in ways that are healthful.
• Live with kindness, passion, empathy, and humor

.From the Back Cover

Every woman deserves to feel beautiful. But what does it mean to feel truly beautiful on the outside and the inside? In The Beauty Prescription, physicians Debra Luftman and Eva Ritvo have redefined beauty around a groundbreaking concept: The Beauty-Brain Loop. In this revealing, candid look at the science and spirit of beauty, Drs. Debra and Eva give women of all ages a prescription for mastering the Beauty-Brain Loop, including:.

• How to see beauty in everything around you.
• Making time to get fit and healthy.
• How a kind, loving, positive demeanor makes you more attractive.
• Staying beautiful in times of crisis.
• Understanding beauty products and cosmetic procedures.
• Creating a lifetime beauty plan

Every stage of the Loop-Outer Beauty, Inner Beauty, Health, and Environment-has the power to enhance your attractiveness, self-esteem, and well-being . . . if you know how to make the most of each one. Packed with personal stories from Beauty Buddies, tips on physical and psychological wellness, wisdom from top professionals in the beauty industry, and much more, The Beauty Prescription is an owner's manual for every woman who is ready to move beyond today's narrow definition of beauty. If you're ready to become your most beautiful on the inside as well as the outside, Drs. Debra and Eva have the right medicine for you.

Traffic ticket case上个礼拜终于settled了，

在这里分享一下经历吧。

 

我最后用了traffic attorney，帮忙免去了所有点数（DMV和insurance）

在NC，有两个point system, DMV和insurance

DMV是3年内除非有12点才会除牌，

insurance是有了2-3点就会上升的。

 

用律师，

一来是方便（律师会帮你出庭，电话搞定，连见面都不需要），

二来是要peace of mind,　

三来我的stop sign violation,

从网上看其实不好argue，不像speeding，

最后，即使事后insurance还是上升了，

他们还会take care of it.

 

万一拿了ticket的朋友可以考虑一下，万一哦，

从网上看speeding对律师来说就更容易了。

 

至于价格，我觉得还是不错的，

$275 including everything (court fee $125+fine $50+legal services fee)，

所以legal services fee是$100，即使fine被免除也是$275，

这还算是比较贵的，

最便宜的legal services fee只要$89, 而且如果最后fine被免除的话，会把那50退给你，

 

我一共比较过三四家，问了问几个相同的问题，

最后选了前一家，因为觉得他们听起来很有把握，解释原因也挺make sense的。

 

周末和妈妈聊起这个，

自嘲说我终究还是胆小怕事的绝对良民呵，

薄薄一张罚单，区区几个点数，

去掉了，虽然没有宋江除去脸上刺青的大喜悦，

但也觉得事情少了一桩呢。

 

给牛牛妹买了这个空气加湿器，

现在先放在自己房间试用，

quiet, efficient and adorable

strongly recommend if you love something cute

more animal designs to choose from Amazon.com

 

 

 

English Name: Claire, meaning clear and bright

Chinese Name: 可悦

Nickname: Cantonese嘟嘟 (Du4 Du2)

Little Nickname: 牛牛妹

 

Sound complicated, isn't it？

英文名是爸爸起的，

中文名是妈妈期的，

小名和小小名是天上掉下来的，

（因为可爱的小名太多了，

头一抬又想起一个，

所以说天上掉下来） 

 

中文名只是暂定，

第一选择本是“子悦”，

“生死契阔，与子相悦”的“子悦”，

后来改成“可悦”，因音更近Claire；

如果有更好的主意，欢迎分享哦。

要求是音近Claire，

不想以后给她带来identity confusion :)

 

11：55am：meeting早到了几分钟，Frank已经坐在那里了。Frank是个亲切和善的老头，Nortel的元老之一，有个比我小几岁的女儿。听他的演讲是一种美妙享受，我最佩服他的story telling，能把生活里的一件鸡毛蒜皮事说得绘声绘色，有滋有味。我们开始了闲聊，我忍不住告诉他ticket的事情，你猜他的回应？

 

“Did you cry, Michelle?”看他的神情不像开玩笑啊。

 

我疑惑地问，would that help??

 

接着他就给我讲故事了，说他有个朋友，警察一上来她的眼泪哗啦哗啦哗流，警察说OK, OK, I’ll give you a break. Stop crying like that!! 大概是怕了你的意思。

 

我瞪大眼睛：真的假的？早知道我也那样。

 

Frank说是啊你不知道吗，你还能捂着肚子说里面有个娃娃呢。

 

哎，可惜我是个bad actor.

 

Frank又说不过不一定了，要是他大哭，警察一定说，懦夫! 加罚$200！

 

哈哈，我说如果我是那个警察我会那样说。

 

到点了人齐了，我谢谢Frank for the funny story，“it cheered me up.”

 

12：00pm：今天有三个prepared speeches, 第三个Chantelle的一如既往毫无重点不知所云。很快到了Table Topic时间，主持人Jeannie含泪说她星期天参加了一个好姐妹的丧礼，致了丧词。今天只是假设我们自己离开人世的那一天，为自己致丧词的人会说些什么 -- 就是今天即兴演讲的主题。我一向恐惧即兴演讲，可是这么忙都来了，不妨试试吧，talk about yourself，说说自己好话呗，于是举手上了台。我设想自己是Michelle五十年的好友，如何认识，如何深交，如何见证了她生命中许多memorable events, 除了友谊，她留给自己另一笔财富是她的character，她总是那么乐观，即便生活中总有一些小烦恼，她的脸上总是挂着可爱微笑；她总是心存感激，即使人生有不顺心的时候，她还是为自己拥有的爱与友谊感到幸运。

 

说完了，才意识到那是我给自己的心理暗示，潜意识里我对自己说，不要再为无关幸福的琐事损耗快乐了。我想那才是智慧的。

 

结果我竟然拿了Table Topic奖，心里美滋滋的，我猜Frank大概也投了我一票。

 

Meeting结束时在Attendance Sheet上签名，发现几位朋友突然在Employer一栏留白了，哎，大概最近刚刚丢了工作，还有邻座的单亲妈妈Sylvia, 自从去年10月掉了Nortel的工作后一直没有好消息，心里默默地祝她好运。

 

2：00pm：老公给我打电话，问我心情好点了没，还说他工作累了出来走几分钟， 休息休息，天气很好。我很开心，因为他终于听了我的建议开始散步啦。我说，如果你愿意每天出来走走，我每天陪你电话聊天，如果一个人走无聊的话。他在电话那头惨叫， 说要抽时间走路，还要听我说话，真是多一层的压迫~ 赫赫

 

7：30pm：晚饭。今天的话题当然是无限丰富了，总结呈辞，我数了一下今天开心的事和不开心的，

 

开心的，1。首先，天气很好啦；2。Table Topic Best Speaker 喔；3。老公开始散步了；4。工作顺利爱情美好；哦，还有，晚上做的椒盐排骨不算难吃。

 

不开心的，1。噩梦；2。Ticket； 3。新眼镜是不是要泡汤了？

 

5>3， 所以啊，今天也不算太糟了。

我一向不善于记流水账，但最近总有冲动记录生活的细细碎碎，不知是不是因为最近荷尔蒙的变化？比如说，我想说说今天。

 

2009年2月10日，我本来以为是个黑霉日呢，写完看看，其实是再平凡不过的一天。像生活里其它日子一样，有烦恼也有快乐。

 

8：40am：从不愉快的梦中醒来，本来以为工作周三能美美地偷睡个小懒觉，因为有个9：45的Eye Doctor Appt。谁知道做了个古怪的梦，梦见老公喜欢上了别的女生然后我们要离婚。真是诡异，通常梦见两个人的时候都幸福无边。我躺在床上，呆呆地望着天花板，在想为什么会做这种梦。哦---我知道了！还是快快起床吧，开始新的一天就忘记了，今天70几度，天气会很好。

 

9：15am：难得，工作日两个人可以好好坐下一起吃早点。我嘟嘟囔囔和老公说起梦，他一脸惊讶：“为什么会做这种梦啊，傻瓜？”我想了想，很认真地说，是因为你昨天说我嘴角的痘痘了吧，让我强烈自卑。 他哭笑不得说“这个#￥%&$，怎么会啊？？”我说有的阿，这颗痘痘直接影响我的self-esteem，然后导致我的不安全感喽。其实也是逗着他玩，因为喜欢看他的戏剧性表情。这个梦是有原因的，一是昨天白天邻居同事过来闲聊，说他有一个朋友突然告诉说因为外遇要离婚了，同事很惊讶，我们聊了好一会儿；然后我晚上睡前bedtime reading时候，读到关于Common Dreams & Fantasies of Pregnant Women, 其中一类是"dreaming about your spouse taking up with someone else -- expresses the common fear that pregnancy will destroy your looks forever and make you unappealing to your partner" 我看到这条的时候还在发笑，印象深刻，谁知道真的会梦到，是不是说我内心深处也有fear呢？吃完早点，老公抱抱，再安慰了一会儿，我发觉要迟到了，匆忙出门。

9：35am：车开出garage，春光明媚，心情顿时晴朗起来。NPR里的BBC新闻变成了Spring Fundraising，那就换到Classic FM，正好“胎教”熏陶一下。要迟到了，于是往近路赶。一路我还在想：如果我睡前读读那些fantasies，是不是也能作个美梦呢？不时地看看后视镜，后面是部警车，而且，灯一闪一闪！只是未鸣笛。我小心翼翼地把车停在路边，祈祷目标是前面某部车。。。谁知警车也跟着停了下来，真的是来抓我的#￥%&$！我难道是超速了？警察自然很快走上来， 直奔主题：do you know you didn't stop at the stop sign?

-me: i didn‘t?

-well, you slowed down, but you didn't fully stop. did you see the stop sign?

-me:（我想这不是trick question吗，无论是否都是我的错）this is not the road i normally take to work. i'm not that familiar with it. i'm taking this road just b/c i'm going to the doctor's office today. i'm not feeling well...

- there are stop signs on many roads you're not familiar with.

- me: 看来辩解是没用的，装病也是没用的，我不说话了，哎，whatever。

 

结果就是人生第一张罚单，$171 including court fees，171也就算了，后来查到stop sign violation在北卡竟然是3 points，意味着未来三年的汽车保险大大升高。“真是倒霉透了”，我在车里自言自语，真想对警察说你知道么我昨晚睡得不好早晨心情也不好，还有，你能不能不要浪费了这美妙的好天气呢？哼。

 

有点被惊吓的意思，毕竟是第一次，所以emotion来的很慢。慢慢地把车开上路，想也没想就给老公打电话，一说话突然觉得委屈，说里带哭。老公以为是事故吓一跳，问清楚后一番安慰，小事情，人没事就好，晚上回家一起看看ticket，云云，还说好好做个eye exam，挑个喜欢的新眼镜。挂了电话，平静多了。想想马上能换个新眼镜，小小兴奋了一下，就要选期待很久的那款~

 

10：00am：Doctor appt. 自然迟到，顺利做完了exam，终于到了挑镜框的时候了，喜欢的不多，拿过去一算，竟然over $200 out of pocket，因为insurance只cover $180 material fees including frame and lenses我问你确定lenses包括在内吗，确定。11:30必须走了，我需要时间再想想。我说过几天我再带prescription回来，我想和insurance company确认一下。实在不敢相信vision insurance plan这么差，以前几个都比这个好。后来听说，好像是真的。。

 

11：30am：不管之前发生了什么，终于能坐在办公桌前了！电话听筒上又是那个耀眼的红色-- 4个电话留言，又是一些不大不小的焦头烂额事。深呼吸，一件一件来，电话一个一个回。没过几分钟，发现再不起身，12点的Toastmaster Meeting就来不及了。一天之内还是不要迟到两次好。

 

Our Baby!!

 

Global market is plunging and sky is gloomy,

I don't care because I'm going to have a little cutie;

 

Still a mystery whether it's a boy or girl,

but I know it's a little miracle.

 

As the new year starts

and the old one ends,

I think of you, my friends.

I hope I've brought

this news and joy to share.

 

My heart is filled

with excitement and wonder,

because I will have a dear and special treasure.

Nothing than a content heart is more precious.

 

Happiness is like a butterfly.

When you run after it,

it flies and flies;

If you stand still,

it comes and sits with you.

 

Let's look forward to lots of good cheers in the new year.

 

To new beginnings...

 

 

From:

 

"Dear All: PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know - Even to those you don't know! It is the request of a special girl who will soon leave this world due to cancer.

 

This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will.

She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.

By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name To her treatment and recovery plan. It's Not even your money, just Your time!

 

PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST."

 

Have you ever Watched kids
On a merry-go-round?

 

Or listened to
The rain
Slapping on the ground?

 

Ever followed a
Butterfly's' erratic flight?

 

Or gazed at the sun into the fading
Night?

 

You better slow down.

 

Don't dance so
Fast.

 

Time is short.

 

The music won't
Last.

 

Do you run through each day
On the
Fly?

 

When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the
Reply?

 

When the day is done
Do you lie in your
Bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through
Your head?

 

You'd better slow down

 

Don't dance so
Fast.

 

Time is short.

 

The music won't
Last.

 

Ever told your child,
We'll do it
Tomorrow?

 

And in your haste,
Not see
His
Sorrow?

 

Ever lost touch,

Let a good
Friendship die

Cause you never had time
To call
And say,'Hi'?

 

You'd better slow down.

 

Don't dance
So fast.

 

Time is short.

 

The music won't
Last.

 

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You
Miss half the fun of getting there.

 

When you worry and hurry

Through your day,

It is like an unopened
Gift....

Thrown away.

 

Life is not a
Race.

 

Do take it slower

 

Hear the
Music
Before the song is over.

Random thoughts on a funny article

In Chinese the word crisis is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. That's a perfect summation of the choice Obama has as the new President elect.

A funny piece of article:

Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/black_man_given_nations

 

WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation's broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."

 

"See I'm a young soul in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit but what is true and fake
But why all this hate? try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make......"
 

Fragile economy, market crisis, collective fear and widespread panic, those are the words I hear on news each and every day lately.  Everyone is talking about the economy, just like everyone is talking about the election. Hope is more than ever needed in time of depression. Changing the leader doesn't necessarily make things better, but at least it keeps people hopeful. Fearful people are hungry for change. 

 

2008 is the year I have closest experience with election. Back in 2004, I was pretty new to the country. Why would I care or why would I be interested? There were  too many things interesting or important than "who is the next person living in White House". Four years later, I still can't vote, but it's an interesting race to watch. It's a long race, especially for Obama. Since launching his presidential campaign in January 2007, he had gone so far till four months ago to get the nomination. Political campaign is not everyone's favorite. Nancy Reagan said, "I never enjoyed campaign." When Roldney Reagan decided to run for the second turn, Nancy's biggest headache is another round of campaign. Hillary Clinton said, I'm fascinated about campaign. While Bill Clinton decided to run for the second turn, Hillary was "so excited about campaign." That's quite self-explanatory of the difference of interest in being just the First Lady and being the President. 

 

Political campaign is not everyone's favorite because it's about making lots of promises, and making lots of very personal attacks. Unpleasant and seemingly emotional. "It's gonna get nasty, I'm sure, in the next four days," Obama told a crowd two or three days ago. "They will throw everything at us like they've been doing, and we're gonna have to work like our future depends on it in this last week." 

 

Every day I turn on the TV, I'm pretty sure what I'm going to see -- negative ads if not the campaign news or weather report :) One after another, they keep throwing things at each other. According to a research quoted by NPR, every candidate suggested we stop this kind of "nasty" at some point, but each of them end up running more negative ads as the race comes closer to the end. Why? Because it works. 

 

The race, is substantially persuasion game, a public communications contest. Campaign and speeches, debates, back to campaign and speeches, are all about conveying "promises" to the public. People vote for what they say more than who they really are. I don't know if the winner is a truly better leader. But surly he has to be a better communicator to voters. Back in 1980, Reagan had a narrow lead over Carter before going into the debate. With years of experience in front of a camera as an actor, Reagan came across much better than Carter and was judged by voters to have won the debate by a wide margin. This translated into Reagan turning a close election into a landslide victory.  

 

I couldn't help but wonder, if I'm voting, how would I know what is true and fake? Yuhua brough up the idea that election should be a year-long reality show like America's Toughest Job, but hosted by PBS. Two participants. One grand prize. Interesting idea. Will people get to see the real persons they are being? Maybe. Maybe not. Long and complicated process leave more space for manipulation. Maybe there's no real true and fake. Everything is about perception anyway. Like Simon Cowell, the American Idol judge told the finalists, "since it's not really a talent competition, rather, it's a popularity competition; I can't tell who will win."

 

I was reading the newspaper yesterday. People were asked about how they made their decision. One said, "I gave my vote to Obama because I don't like McCain." Another said, "I vote for McCain because he supports hunting. I like hunting. That's it." Strange world but real world. What's true and fake? It doesn't matter really. Democracy doesn't care if a better leader is chosen. What it cares it the leader is elected by the majority.

 

"I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake
La la la la......"